It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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