this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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