I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize