i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
