Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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