I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
