thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
