party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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