I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
