I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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