Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+66): View more from Thailand

She said her name was "party"

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(248): View more from Michigan

Public safety found my id!

(248): View more from Michigan

And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

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(850): View more from Florida

You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.

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(435): View more from Utah

When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

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(609): View more from New Jersey

it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.

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(520): View more from Arizona

YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.

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(850): View more from Florida

You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?

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