this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
