now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
