Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
