he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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