Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
