p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
