Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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