apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
