Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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