i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
