Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
