I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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