Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
