This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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