K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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