Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
