is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
