You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
