At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
