do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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