sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
third nipple confirmed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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