He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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