the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
