why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
