So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize