It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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