That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize