He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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