Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
