Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
