is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize