I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
