Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
