Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize