Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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