dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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