just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
