I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
