Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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