And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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