You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
