My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
