I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
