these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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