Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
