Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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