Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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