Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
