Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
